You can't spell community without UNITY

Looking back on history, bullies have always been a nuisance. From the guys who killed Jesus to some German cartographer who decided the Northern Hemisphere is more important and should therefore be on the top of the map. If you close your eyes and think of the Earth you picture North America on top, don’t you? Well, is it really? Or, when satellites send pictures back, do we flip them around because they’re upside down? North and South don’t mean anything in space.

But it does make a difference down here. And if your continent has always been portrayed as the bottom half, that can certainly have an influence on the way you see the world. I mean, we’re talking about generations and generations of people led to believe that their land is beneath the Land of Opportunity. But is it? Or have they simply been oppressed into believing that they are the developing world. Just like here in the Roaring Fork valley, where we all know that ‘down valley’ implies much more than the slope of the ground.

If there’s one thing that really gets my goat, it’s a bully. (Just in case you’re not familiar with the phrase, it means to rile someone up; to get one’s attention. Like the time my godfather drove over with a billy goat in the back of his truck to leave it in my dad’s kitchen as a birthday present/prank. Needless to say, his goat was gotten.)

Bullies don’t seem to last in Carbondale. This community is open and accessible, but if a bully doesn’t leave of his own accord the old-timers get together and form a posse to run him out of town –just kidding! (Sort of.) Carbondale is definitely a juxt-a-pose town, but it’s all about connection. Just go to a parade; you’ll see a cowboy standing next to a punk, and a hippy sharing his candy with a veteran. Everyone fits in, and there’s a true sense of security that isn’t found everywhere in the world. We’re lucky; we’re the real deal when it comes to community, which is why I’m having a hard time with Colorado Rocky Mountain School wanting to close their campus.

After a generous start with the donation of a local ranch, and with a mission to give “our students the skills, confidence, and knowledge to be successful in life and to contribute to their communities”* I have to wonder why they are petitioning Garfield County to vacate pedestrian and bicycle access on County Road 106. CRMS claims it is simply to reassure parents that their children will be safe, but the children are safe— safer than in places with fences, guards, and gates I would say.

I do not understand why CRMS keeps building up their campus on, and around, a county road if they don’t want the county to be allowed on campus. Or why they think tuition dollars should take precedence over a public right-of-way (not to mention the safety of younger children who ride their bikes through CRMS to get to the Community School and avoid the traffic on Highway 133.)

Honestly, I don’t think CRMS students have anything to fear by bumping into us on their campus; the Boo Radleys of unincorporated Garfield County riding our bikes by moonlight. I’m the kind of person who likes to call a spade a goddamn shovel, and this land belongs to the people of Garfield County. I mean, if the commissioners are gonna start giving away acres of land sign me up!

Closing the campus sends a message of privilege, not participation to the community. Besides, all those extra eyes and ears are an added measure of security; trust me— there are some real Nosy-Rosies around here! This expedited petition by the school’s board of directors feels more like a grab for lunch money than an act of stewardship.

In the past, it seems, the one with the money got to draw the map, but this map’s already been drawn. We all live here because we feel safe and secure enough to be ourselves. And because we look out for our neighbors from all walks of life, which is exactly what it takes to be a community.

*http://www.crms.org/about/

Puttin on the Ritz (crackers)

Well, I did it. I survived yet another holiday season existing pretty much on cheese and crackers, chocolate and wine. Inundated with the latest blood-rock, i-gadget and luxury sedan commercials, I’m left wondering how many years we have until WalMart opens their doors on Christmas day. The last month is a blur of parties and people and trips to the post office. And now, all I have left to show for it is a common cold and a half eaten box of Ritz crackers, which I admit I’m eating for breakfast as I sit down to write my resolutions for 2014.

First and foremost, my new year’s resolution is to create positivity and keep putting it (myself) out there. I know it won’t be easy; it’s hard to keep smiling at strangers on the sidewalk who don’t smile back. And it’s hard to be a courteous driver when there is too much traffic for our two-lane highway. But I intend to wake up each day and forgive and forget yesterday’s trespasses— except for litterbugs. I have to call them out, I can’t help myself. I’m turning into my mother.

As a teenager I remember thinking I would die of embarrassment whenever my mom broke into song in the middle of the grocery store aisle. As if singing Build Me Up Buttercup as we filled the cart revealed anything more than our ability to carry a tune. Now, of course, I gravitate to those people in the grocery store; the wholehearted ones, the ones who aren’t afraid to show their true selves to the world.

If necessity is the mother of invention, then vulnerability and honesty are its sisters. If you think about it, without vulnerability there is no creativity. And in order to create something real, and sustainable, it takes sincerity. (Fraud can’t pass itself off for long before party-goers wander off to talk to someone more interesting, someone genuine.) And if we’re not creating, then seriously, what’s the friggin point? I mean, why bother to get out of our pajamas? (Don’t get me wrong— in a perfect world we would all be able to create our lives in our pajamas. And I do think we’re headed in the right direction, towards loose-fitting, comfortable clothing for everyone. Think today’s yoga pants in public vs. the conforming suit lines of 80s corporate slave wear.)

Vulnerability is a funny thing in our culture. It’s not promoted as a positive, and yet just being alive is to be vulnerable. We don’t encourage it in our children, especially our boys. Vulnerability is perceived as the opposite of strength, but is it really? Not according to Dr. Brené Brown, vulnerability researcher:

“Vulnerability is not weakness. I define vulnerability as emotional risk, exposure, uncertainty. It fuels our daily lives. And I have come to the belief –this is my twelfth year doing this research– that vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage.” –Brené Brown*

Dr. Brown collects data from everyday people; people who fall down and make mistakes and then get up and do it again. People who are searching for the same thing we all are: connection. Family, Fame, Fortune, Faith, or Forestry, whichever one of the Five Fs we’re currently seeking is most likely a chance to feel like we’re a part of something bigger. Something substantial. Something we can point to and say look! I belong to this.

After all, we’re humans. Not the most foresighted creatures in the universe, but we got a lotta heart. And as soon as we stop believing in Santa and his military-industrial complex, we might even evolve to be a kind, sharing, sincere species. A species invested in our children’s planet. Dare I say it? A species that doesn’t rank each other by the color of our suits. It’s 2014, for Pete’s sake! If we can’t put ourselves out there— show our true colors, as they say, then at the very least can we stop judging each other for our cracker preferences. Whether it’s melba toast, or gluten-free oat crisps with rosemary and raisins, or just a plain ole Ritz, it does the job. It holds the vulnerable cheese.

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame.html

Jon Stewart reads my column

As you may well know, I often use quotes in my column to enhance my point and to bring a little levity to the topic. I always give credit where credit’s due, only sometimes I use initials to protect the innocent. Not too long ago I used a quote from Willy Wonka (picturing the Gene Wilder version in my head, of course) pertaining to the three-ring circus that is our Congress. Then, the other night, I watched the actual clip of Gene Wilder in response to the latest Congress folly on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

Call it whatever you want: tipping point, fate, pure coincidence; I think it’s obvious that we’re all connected and a movie reference meme is all the proof I need. Shooting stars are another one of my favorite prompts, reminding me that people all over the world are simply going about their lives; like an app older than the rule of law notifying us that we are not alone. Shepherds and butchers and bankers, oh my!

Speaking of shepherds, my friend Caroline has an interesting theory regarding Jesus and the afterlife. (Jesus was a shepherd at some point, right? I mean I’ve seen pictures of him with one of those sticks like Little Bo Peep carries, and Christians are always talking about his ‘flock.’) Anyway, Caroline believes that when you die you go to a reception area (I like the DMV style of the waiting room in Beetlejuice) and you have to stay there until everyone who expects to see you when they die dies.

I like this theory for two reasons. One, it reminds me of one of my favorite movies of all time— Defending Your Life with Meryl Streep and Albert Brooks: all-you-can-eat pasta with no repercussions, 70 degrees and sunny every day, a place called the Past Lives Pavilion… I mean c’mon! Add a cocktail hour with F Scott Fitzgerald and Dorothy Parker and it’s the epitome of heaven!

The second reason I like Caro’s theory is because it explains the total and complete absence of Jesus. If he came back once, surely he can rearrange his speaking engagements and make a second appearance when we really need him, right? Well not if he’s stuck in this ethereal waiting room until each and every catholic dies.

So, while I’m definitely looking forward to such a purgatorial place, first thing’s first. We’ve got some serious issues down here on Earth, and protecting the only planet that sustains life as far as we know it, is a big job. Personally, I have my doubts as to whether we’re up to the challenge, especially when I look to the ‘authorities’ only to find them sitting around chuckling and smoking cigars together. It’s disconcerting, yo.

               “Our problem is civil obedience.

When the rule of law is the darling of the leaders and the plague of the people, we ought to begin to recognize this. ” –Howard Zinn

I can really work myself into a Facebook frenzy, posting warning after warning… But eventually I remind myself to calm down, to stop being such a Sally Freakshow, to post a video of a hillbilly dancing with a raccoon on his porch. We do what we can and look where we want to land. That was the advice of a Vietnam vet who gave my sister and me a five hour crash course on skydiving before taking us 3000 feet in the air and pushing us out of the plane. “You will land where you are looking, so if you see a dumpster from up there, don’t continue to check on its whereabouts or you will end up in the trash.” This advice has served me well in life. And until the day comes when my chute won’t open, I’m going to focus on the kind of planet I want to live on. One where we treat each other and everything on the planet the way we would like to be treated, just like that philosophizing shepherd. A planet where I can have non-GMO coffee and bagels with Jon Stewart while discussing our own guest lists for the great dinner party in the sky.

Send out the clowns

This month’s Ps & Qs was written by my friend Skip Bell, and I think whether you align yourself with Democrats or Republicans, Socialists or Capitalists, or worse yet— Idealists; whether you lean in to the conservative curve or you are a straight-laced liberal, I think we can all agree that the People have lost our representation. That "Our democracy, with faux debates between two corporate parties, is meaningless political theater." – Chris Hedges

Send out the clowns

by Skip Bell

This Congress is making a mockery of our system of government.  Democrat, Republican, Tea Party or Independent, they hold us hostage to their purposes while they continue to receive their overblown salaries, health-care and benefits.  In the midst of our country's recovery from the economic downturn, they decide to shut down the government and throw everything into reverse.  Colorado towns, crippled by floods, can't do business because the attractions that could bring tourists to their areas are closed.  Federal employees can't buy food for their families or pay their bills.  Thousands of people out of work and our Congress can't put aside their political differences and make it work.  The rest of the world laughs at us; and the fools in Washington don't care, because their golden parachutes are in place and when they don't get re-elected, or they resign, they can go to work for big business as a lobbyist.  I want legislators to create laws FOR THE PEOPLE that they represent, not for themselves.  They have placed themselves above us and I don't believe that the Founding Fathers planned it that way.  Our Country was founded in revolution and I think it's time for another one; at the ballot box.  Send them all home.  My only regret is that we will still have to pay them.

I'm sure everyone noticed how quickly our Congress pulled their heads in and did the right thing by funding death benefits for families of our military who were recently killed in action.  The reason was that so many people voiced their outrage.  I believe we need to keep that pressure up on all fronts.  Shutting down the government is nothing short of treason.

Do we need to cut back on government expenditures; yes we do.  Let's start by keeping our President in Washington, where he belongs.  How much money has been wasted, sending him and his family all over the world to vacation at our expense?  We have every form of modern communication in the world.  Make a phone call.  Congressional junkets and fact-finding tours; we have ambassadors everywhere.  Make a phone call.  We spend trillions of dollars arming unfriendly nations only to have those weapons turned against our troops.  YOU CAN'T BUY FRIENDS.  I'm all for humanitarian aid, but gun money would go a long way toward solving our own country's problems.

"Charity begins at home."  Our schools are a disaster.  Teachers are underpaid, students are uninspired and facilities are in disrepair.  Every year it seems, they shorten the school year by another day or two.  Kids can't wait to emulate movie stars and professional athletes with their gold chains and diamond earrings.  Where are we going?  The United States is 18th in world educational rankings.  College and university students buy their way through school.  MBA candidates are taught every sleazy way to do business, from how to beat the tax man to how to choke the most work out of their employees for the least amount of money.

The top 1% owns this country and we keep electing the politicians who do their bidding.  I reread the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution and Lincoln's Gettysburg Address in which Lincoln referred to a government "OF THE PEOPLE, BY THE PEOPLE and FOR THE PEOPLE".  Nowhere did I find the names of the Koch brothers, John Boehner, Mitch McConnell, Harry Reid, Ted Cruz or Barack Obama.  This is OUR Country; those men and women in Congress are OUR employees.  It's time we fired all of them. 

And now they come riding to the rescue at the last minute, reaching an accord that brings OUR country back from the brink of disaster, patting themselves on the backs and congratulating themselves for their selfless act of putting partisanship aside for the good of the country; and it's probably going to happen again in a few months.  Who's going to be responsible for the billions and billions of dollars that their ridiculous actions have cost so many citizens and OUR country? 

I read an article in the paper that stated how Senator Scott Tipton put aside his Tea Party beliefs to vote in favor of making a deal to save the economy; REALLY.  Such a hero.  My message here is that we need to register every eligible voter and send them to the polls.  Cast a ballot for our country, not for the best looking, smoothest talker.

The Business of War

“Bombing for peace is like f***ing for virginity.” –A bumper sticker I once saw

I recently left a bit of a rambling message on my Senator’s voicemail about why I don’t think it’s a good idea to bomb Syria (or any other country for that matter! Bombing, in my opinion, is not good.) I’m pretty sure I got my point across, and I’m pretty sure I’m not the nuttiest Colorado constituent (not yet anyway, maybe in ten to fifteen years…) My point being: war is not a good business plan. Even though it creates more war, the losses far outweigh the gain. I’m sick of fear and ignorance and greed running the show in this country. I voted for Obama because I want to see a change, and by that I don’t mean change the country we’re bombing for supposedly housing weapons of destruction. I mean, talk about Idiocracy* in action, it’s like smacking your kid to teach him that hitting is wrong.

Why can’t we send our young men and women to the other side of the world to train civilians on how to operate renewable energy systems, instead of sending them over to kill parents right in front of their own children? Then those communities could house and maintain their own independent energy sources, and send us .01 cent per kilowatt as well as some good buju each month. Our reputation would restore itself and terrorist cells would dry up the world round. Plus, we’d be that much closer to having a world flag, which personally, I would really like to see happen in my lifetime.

Hasn’t it been long enough, how many generations will it take for us to learn that the business of war is dead? Literally. Death is the end result, and all it creates is more hatred and fear and death. Apparently our representatives are too sheltered from the real world to comprehend this. I propose we wall off Washington DC and let them fend for themselves until they shut up and listen. Seriously, no trucks in or out. How long until they sell their bodies for fresh vegetables? Your guess is as good as mine, but what a great premise for a reality show…

Did you see the footage of U.S. Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) rambling on and on for 21 hours? What a waste of oxygen; no way is he one of the sharpest tools in the shed. (I used to think Ivy League educated meant well read, but now I question if they do read.) Are we deliberately trying to breed ourselves out of common sense and courtesy, or is it just an unfortunate wrong turn on the path of humanity? Do we really want to be a planet of 50-hour-a-week-workers who only have access to bottled water and Monsanto® food, who wear aluminum under our arms and wire under our breasts, who can only be legally recognized as ‘married’ if we’re capable of breeding, and whose collective hobby it is to consume useless crap packaged in plastic faster than Captain Kirk can unzip? Really?

It’s too depressing. We’re losing basic kindness and generosity like a Band-Aid® in the bath— we won’t even notice until we’re out. Maybe it’s because by the time a species becomes technologically advanced enough to do good universally, all the compassion has been bred out. In order to travel through space and discover new worlds we have to evolve to a certain level of uncaring, selfish behavior; kind of like the way we feel about insects when they splatter on the windshield. Eventually it won’t even occur to us to go out of our way to help one another. Or, maybe that’s only true for the ones actually doing the traveling through time and space. Hopefully there are redneck aliens back on their home planets right now, drinking homemade moonsshine and playing some kind of gravity-deficient horseshoes.

And if not, we could be the first to lead by example. We’ll just send our Congress men and women instead of our military— Ooh, I gotta go. I have another call to make…

*Idiocracy is a very funny film about the ‘dumbing down’ of society