As you may well know, I often use quotes in my column to
enhance my point and to bring a little levity to the topic. I always give
credit where credit’s due, only sometimes I use initials to protect the
innocent. Not too long ago I used a quote from Willy Wonka (picturing the Gene
Wilder version in my head, of course) pertaining to the three-ring circus that
is our Congress. Then, the other night, I watched the actual clip of Gene
Wilder in response to the latest Congress folly on the Daily Show with Jon
Stewart.
Call it whatever you want: tipping point, fate, pure
coincidence; I think it’s obvious that we’re all connected and a movie
reference meme is all the proof I need. Shooting stars are another one of my
favorite prompts, reminding me that people all over the world are simply going
about their lives; like an app older than the rule of law notifying us that we
are not alone. Shepherds and butchers and bankers, oh my!
Speaking of shepherds, my friend Caroline has an interesting
theory regarding Jesus and the afterlife. (Jesus was a shepherd at some point, right?
I mean I’ve seen pictures of him with one of those sticks like Little Bo Peep
carries, and Christians are always talking about his ‘flock.’) Anyway, Caroline
believes that when you die you go to a reception area (I like the DMV style of
the waiting room in Beetlejuice) and you have to stay there until everyone who
expects to see you when they die dies.
I like this theory for two reasons. One, it reminds me of
one of my favorite movies of all time— Defending Your Life with Meryl Streep
and Albert Brooks: all-you-can-eat pasta with no repercussions, 70 degrees and
sunny every day, a place called the Past Lives Pavilion… I mean c’mon! Add a
cocktail hour with F Scott Fitzgerald and Dorothy Parker and it’s the epitome
of heaven!
The second reason I like Caro’s theory is because it
explains the total and complete absence of Jesus. If he came back once, surely
he can rearrange his speaking engagements and make a second appearance when we
really need him, right? Well not if he’s stuck in this ethereal waiting room
until each and every catholic dies.
So, while I’m definitely looking forward to such a
purgatorial place, first thing’s first. We’ve got some serious issues down here
on Earth, and protecting the only planet that sustains life as far as we know
it, is a big job. Personally, I have my doubts as to whether we’re up to the
challenge, especially when I look to the ‘authorities’ only to find them
sitting around chuckling and smoking cigars together. It’s disconcerting, yo.
“Our
problem is civil obedience.
When the rule of law is the darling
of the leaders and the plague of the people, we ought to begin to recognize
this. ” –Howard Zinn
I can really work myself into a Facebook frenzy, posting
warning after warning… But eventually I remind myself to calm down, to stop
being such a Sally Freakshow, to post a video of a hillbilly dancing with a
raccoon on his porch. We do what we can and look where we want to land. That
was the advice of a Vietnam vet who gave my sister and me a five hour crash
course on skydiving before taking us 3000 feet in the air and pushing us out of
the plane. “You will land where you are looking, so if you see a dumpster from
up there, don’t continue to check on its whereabouts or you will end up in the
trash.” This advice has served me well in life. And until the day comes when my
chute won’t open, I’m going to focus on the kind of planet I want to live on.
One where we treat each other and everything on the planet the way we would
like to be treated, just like that philosophizing shepherd. A planet where I
can have non-GMO coffee and bagels with Jon Stewart while discussing our own guest
lists for the great dinner party in the sky.
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