I’m confused. I thought the one good thing about right-wing
conservative Republicans being in office is the free market capitalism they will
take a bullet to protect. I thought that all the de-regulation and social
program cuts were in the name of every American’s right to sell his wares in
the marketplace to the highest bidder. Big Bird dies for Big Industry’s sins,
right?
This is what I’ve always been told. This is one of the
pillars of our society. I am not exaggerating, this is as sure as death and
property tax and the unnamed force that steals a sock out of the dryer. So, why
did two of our County Commissioners vote against growing and selling marijuana
in unincorporated Garfield County? It is now a legal substance in this state, and
God knows, it has already proven to be a cash crop.
What if I decide I want to sell my wares in Satank, and what
if ‘my wares’ just happens to be code for marijuana cupcakes? —Sorry, force of
habit for those of us who went through our formative years when it was still an
illegal substance. And yes, I have been watching a lot of the show 2 Broke
Girls lately…
Personally I don’t partake, but I’m in the minority. If
you’re reading this in Carbondale look to your left and then look to your
right, one of them and you probably use marijuana. Like I said, I’m no longer
in the know, but back in college? Whoo doggie! Of course, that was years ago
when a quarter only cost $25. Yes, it’s true, ounces of weed once sold for $100.
Oh, how long I’ve waited to be able to shock youngsters with tales of the past…
Back in the good old days when you could smoke a joint, find your shoes, and go
to the grocery store for munchies. Nowadays you practically need a GPS system
just to find your own kitchen, and forget about the shoes. “Chicks cannot hold
their smoke, that’s what it is.” –Brian Johnson
Isn’t it weird that a plant that can solve so many of our
ailments has been illegal for 75 years? Glaucoma, depression, obesity, diabetes,
fibromyalgia, nausea, muscle cramps and/or spasms, arthritis, the list could
probably go on and on like a pothead at a party. It clearly is the Gateway Drug
if we’re talking about a gateway to mental and physical health. So let’s grow
it and sell it and in the name of your favorite Republican, tax it!
What are we waiting for? All the studies point to less
violent crime, fewer car accident deaths* and mercy for terminally ill patients,
with a downside of what, exactly? Renaming the ATF and bad poetry? I think it’s
a risk we can afford to take. It seems a lot safer than the gamble we are
taking with our clean air and ground water so that the gas companies can frack
away. Our Commissioners gave away the farm and the County Road to get there
when Big Oil & Gas came knocking. What’s the difference? They both come out
of the ground and they’re both in demand. Commissioner Martin, perhaps you can resolve my confusion, what exactly is required to enter the ‘free market’?
At the end of the day it is just a weed, made by Nature to
grow wild with sunlight and a little water (well, for the time being anyway. I
suspect it won’t be long until Monsanto produces a GMOnster strain…) And the
baby boomers prefer it to their parents’ prescription pills, so get ready for
sales to go through the roof as they enter the ailment years— there’s a good
idea for a sitcom; a show about aging hippies who live together in
unincorporated Garfield County and start up their own marijuana cupcake
business all the while trying to stay one step ahead of the law. Kind of a
Golden Girls meets That 70s Show meets the Dukes of Hazzard. And in the pilot
episode they’ll kidnap those pesky old Commissioners and take them to a motel
room in Utah where they will hotbox the s#*! out of it.
*http://www.healthsurf.com/?p=194
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